My body is rigid, my mind is numb as I come too after a few hours of disrupted sleep and try to make some sense of my dream. A blurred reflection of reality… my reality.
A war-zone of bloody carnage in a civilian world. A multitude of casualties. I have seen all there is to see. Dismembered limbs, puncture wounds, bullet wounds, horrific burns and fatalities. Children too.
It’s been a brutal few months, but I cannot allow a hint of self-doubt to slip through a chink in my steely mental armour. The passion and drive I have for what I do will never waiver
I am the paradigm of an A&E nurse. I am the one that is chosen but would volunteer to shepherd young nurses through their first few days and weeks in A&E.
I am bombproof; unflappable. Nothing fazes me anymore.
The red phone rings and the words trauma in 10, fuels my fire. The opportunity to save precious lives. It is what I was born to do. I expect the worst possible scenario and deal with it as part of a team. We are all trained to save lives.
I am always calm and composed in extreme circumstances. I keep my cool when the Saturday night drunks are wheeled through the door, hurling verbal abuse. I am there for the patient, whatever the circumstances. The traumatised, the terrified, the broken and the bleeding, some whose lives will never be the same again.
I comfort, calm and hold their hands when, for whatever reason, their loved ones can’t be there.
A&E is my life and my shift starts again in an hour.
My brain overrides any hint of self-doubt and negativity.
My body stirs.
This is what I do. I save lives. And today is no different from any other.