Letting go of bottled up emotion is not something I have been particularly good at.
I’m halfway through Ruby Wax’s book How To Be Human and many things have already resonated with me. Apart from enjoying the fluid, funny and fulfilling way, she writes when tackling sensitive subjects.
Chapter 3, Emotions has really drawn me in. I have always been fascinated by our emotions and how they work. Through experience, I have realised how important it is for us to vent our feelings from time to time. I bottled mine up for way too long.
As a child, I rarely cried in public. I was brought up in the era of stiff upper lips, instilled with the knowledge that children should be seen and not heard. Although everyone in the neighbourhood heard after I fell headlong into a clump of grandfather stinging nettles, aged five.
During my awkward teenage years, the time when your hormones rage, I sucked up all my fears, grief, anger and anxieties and tried to process them internally, before humping all my emotional baggage into my adult life.
If you don’t vent your emotions from time to time, you’re going to end up totally screwed. You have to let them go.
I was about twenty one when I first let rip and my blocked emotional dam burst. I went to a 21st party at the house I used to live in as a child. When the party was in full swing, I slipped away to revisit my old bedroom. The decor had changed, it was no longer a child’s bedroom, but the old wooden flooring still creaked. A sound that triggered the memories and brought back a whole gamut of emotions. The raised voices of my constantly warring parents and the image of me as a child struggling to control my feelings. I left the party without saying goodbye to my hosts and drove unsteadily home.
I’ve waxed lyrical about how Qigong has helped me process my emotions in more recent years. I don’t dwell on the past anymore. What has gone has gone. You cannot go back and change it.
Live for the now because, in this fragile world, you never know what is around the corner.
Share your fears, grief, rage, and anxieties with the people you’re closest to and do the same for them. Be a shoulder, tell them that you care, listen and commiserate.
Tell the people you love, you love them. Don’t internalise your emotions. Let them fly, you’ll be all the happier for it.