I dream most nights. They can be vivid, or fuzzy. Happy, or sad. Dark and, sometimes, scary; the ones I try and wake myself up from. There are dreams where I’m with my favourite people, or chilling with my celebrity crushes, who I have never met. Sometimes I wake up and savour those fantasies, by writing about them.
07.00hrs. Woken up by the gentle lapping of the waves underneath water Bungalow 201 at Reethi Beach, The Maldives. The cats are on the decking watching the fish on the incoming tide and Cassie The Blog Dog is on her back, snoozing.
09.00hrs At home in Jersey. I’ve just written another 1000 words of novel number 6, which is coming on a treat. The ideas are fighting their way out of my head, and I am struggling to type them fast enough. Life is sweet.
10.00 a.m. breakfast with my agent at Bumpkins Beach Bar, Antigua to discuss the opportunity for a sequel, to novel number 6 and the film rights for my autobiographical romp… My Overactive Imagination.
Brad Pitt, looking like he has just spent seven years in Tibet, is really keen to take the part of Christian, my toyboy lover. In which case, I wonder if I should insist on playing the part of the older me? But Emma Thompson might just have the edge, and Lily James as my younger self will be perfect. Well, she nailed the part of Donna Sheridan anyway and there are some similarities between myself and Donna. The dungarees for a kick-off.
Cassie the Blog Dog is keen to play herself in the movie. She has been auditioning puppies to play the part of her younger self and has seen over 100 hopeful young pups to date, but still hasn’t found the one.
12.00 A brisk walk along St. Ouens Beach in Jersey with Cassie, ending up at Le Braye for lunch with Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley to chat about me co-writing their next project Absolutely Fantastic, Sweetie, Darling with Jennifer, which I am really excited about.
20.00 The perfect end to a perfect day. Dinner at Temperous Beach Bar, Trafal Beach, The Algarve. My favourite girl band, Fascinating Aida, is playing there tonight and they have asked me to share a bottle of wine, or two, with them after their set.
02.00 Fall back into my bed at ‘my’ water bungalow 201 at Reethi Beach. The doors are open and the soft warm fragrance of the Indian Ocean gently wafts through the room. Cassie barks as a Pirate Lord of the Seven Seas climbs up the ladder from the sea.
My heart is banging like a big bass drum and I feel a little lightheaded as he draws out his cutlass sword. Staring at me, he slurs the words…
‘I think we’ve all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.’*
What a way to end to a perfect Fantasy Day.