Cute and Beautiful? That’s the Last Straw

Right!  Cute and beautiful is the last straw.  I am a Baby Boomer for goodness sake, and my social media accounts are my author pages.  Read my bio!  I’m trying to promote my writing, I don’t want a bloody date, okay?  If I did, I would advertise myself on Tinder and, if you saw me there, you might think twice about calling me cute and beautiful. So unless you are interested in my writing, jog on or get blocked!

For some time now, I have been the butt of constant spamming and unwanted attention on two of my social media accounts.  I spend a huge amount of time social networking.  Tweeting, posting, updating snippets of my writing, inviting readers to get to know me as a writer, but not potential date material.

My current goal is to find an agent.  I know agents don’t scroll through social media looking for new writers.  Their inboxes are flooded with the first three chapters of debut novels.  But how will potential readers ever get to know how you write, unless you put yourself out there on the Internet, either via your own website, or social media?

Drawing in potential readers via the world wide web to build up an eager-beaver-reader following, is not as easy as it seems.  For a kickoff, there are an awful lot of us out there with the same goal.

Your profile picture and bio is a good place to start. Penguin Random House offers some excellent tips on how your author’s profile pic should look.  Shame I didn’t see that before I posted mine.

I originally posted my perception of one of my main characters, Lisa Grant, aged twenty-one as my profile picture.  Bright and bubbly, but certainly not cute.  Captivating maybe. Babies are cute.  Kittens and puppies are cute, but cute is an adjective I consider demeaning when applied to women, whatever their age.

After posting the above image of Lisa Grant as my profile picture, I started getting likes from hopefuls looking for ‘new friends’.  The temptation to say,

‘Please stop. This social media account is to promote my writing. If you are looking for a date, go and download the Tinder app.’  

Posting an image of the real me, the ageing Baby Boomer hasn’t seemed to dampen the enthusiasm of the triers and the trying.  And it’s not just men of my sort of age, but younger men too.  Unless they are doing what I initially did, and posting an image of a much younger person.

Why do they do it? In a new study, published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior, men are more likely to be internet trolls than women, because they show higher levels of narcissism.  Narcissists or not, stop wasting everybody’s time.

My mother used to hate being called darling by people, men, she didn’t know, and always rather haughtily put them down saying, ‘I’m not your darling!’  I kind of understand where she was coming from now.

I don’t want to block people, but as soon as they become persistent and shitty with me because I don’t respond, they can take a hike and prepare to get blocked.

2 thoughts on “Cute and Beautiful? That’s the Last Straw”

  1. I think many, many women–whatever age–can SOOOO relate. I have made it a policy never to accept any friend request on FB from any man with fewer than 130 “friends” in common. Actually, these “friend seekers” usually fall into one of two camps: Those with whom I have several hundred shared friends or those with whom I have 0 -1. You’re absolutely right–darling and cute are adjectives for puppies, not women. (And I’ve always found “darling” cloying.)

Thank you very much for visiting my niche-less blog! If you have time before you leave, would love you to tell us what you think. All the best, Tessa Barrie

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