The Dotage Diaries: The Gradual Decline

The Dotage Diaries – The gradual decline is a slow, downhill roll from middle-aged spread.

I’m not sure when your dotage is supposed officially supposed to start, but I fear the tell-tale signs have been around for a while now.  Just small things.  I haven’t got to the stage where I open the fridge door and find my confused but well fed cat suffering from a mild case of hyperthermia. It’s more like leaving my bunch of keys in the car door when I go shopping. Fortunately, on both occasions, I was shopping at Waitrose, the posh place to shop, according to Michael McIntyre, so they were still there when I got back.

Don’t invite crime by encouraging strangers to take your car and help themselves to the contents of your home.

There is nothing good about getting older, which starts with middle-aged spread. I used to have a waist but it has now taken on the proportions of a well-filled potato sack, and the wintry looking, brittle strands of hair, that used to be blonde, is depressing.

I knew all the answers to the Times 2 crossword this morning, but I just couldn’t remember them.  Sigh.

White blonde? N’est pas?

Every morning, I look in the mirror and find another blemish has appeared on my face over night.  Age spots? Marmite-coloured manifestations that come in a various shapes and sizes, and not just on your face.

Marmite coloured manifestations

The eruptions of a crispy consistency that have started appearing on my face, are a concern.  I scratched the last one off.  It hasn’t come back, yet. As a teenager I never suffered from blackheads or pus-filled pimples so I suppose I am paying the price now.

Most mornings I wake up and my joints seem to be wrapped in invisible straight jackets.

I blame all these manifestations on Autoimmune Disease, because living with it is a trial, but I really can’t hold it responsible for not being able to remember what I watched on the TV last night.

I have no control over these things, the weight gain, the forgetfulness, the facial degeneration, they just seem to happen, but, let’s look on the bright side, at least I am still in control of my bladder, well, it’s only when I laugh. 

It’s only when I laugh





Published by Tessa Barrie

Blogger from Jersey, Channel Islands UK who believes life's too short to be niche. View more posts

2 thoughts on “The Dotage Diaries: The Gradual Decline

  1. alhenry – I love a challenge (though I can sometimes be heard cursing myself for taking on yet another hydra-headed project). I enjoy anything that allows me to be creative: writing, cooking, garden design, decoupage. I travel whenever I can, and London is my favorite city in the world, the home of my heart. Over the years, I have paid the mortgage by writing, editing, and teaching. Home is a late-19th century heap (in constant need of TLC) that I share with my funny, smart, generous husband and two wayward cats. Aspirations? To publish my fiction, and enjoy each day.
    alhenry says:

    Ah Tessa, COVID, I fear, has given us waaaaayyy too much time to think, and mull, and ponder, and contemplate.

Thank you very much for visiting my niche-less blog! If you have time before you leave, would love you to tell us what you think. All the best, Tessa Barrie

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