Reflective Writing Writing Fiction

There’s Light at the End of the Tunnel, so Why the Confidence Crisis Now?

I had a significant confidence wobble last night. I am not quite sure why, when I am so close to achieving my goal, as I can - finally - see the light at the end of the tunnel, I suddenly felt like a jellied mass with a blancmange for brains.

I had a significant confidence crisis last night. I am not quite sure why, when I am so close to achieving my goal, as I can – finally – see the light at the end of the tunnel. So why did I suddenly feel like a jellied mass with a blancmange for brains?

My self-confidence wobbles throughout writing my first novel, Just Say It ,have been many. Writing is such a solitary pursuit. You rattle away on your keyboard for weeks, months and years, lost in your own fantasy world. Getting into the heads of your characters and then, like the bully that you are, you present them with situations that will challenge them, as well as make them laugh, and cry.

You believe you have a story to tell but, your goal of sharing your novel with potential readers is a darn scary business, and there is so much to learn along the way.

The dearth of blogging on this site since I made the decision to self-publish, won’t have gone unnoticed by some, but the polishing process to get the manuscript shiny enough for publication, has been full-on.  The easy part is writing the novel, the hard part is editing it.

So what to do to hit you pre self-publication angst on the head?

We wannabe authors all know what we are are letting ourselves in for.  At whatever stage of our writing lives, we are going to have to grit our teeth and share our writing with others at some stage.  Other writers group members, and so on. So we need to prepare ourselves when receiving feedback, because we know we are going to have to take the rough with the smooth.

Not everybody is going to like, let alone, enjoy, what you are writing about. And it hurts, when they don’t, but because you are so determined to see your work in print, you will get over it by:

  • growing a hide of steel  
  • getting rid of that niggling voice of self-doubt
  • and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone

I’ve only read about Writing Buddies. I’d never had one, until very recently, and I consider myself incredibly lucky. It’s made a huge amount of difference to my whole writing modus operandi, as well as during a major self-confidence crisis!

Goodness knows how huge last night’s dip in self-confidence crisis could have been without the person who is ‘holding my hand’ and leading me through the scary self-publishing process.

I’m hanging on every word of someone I barely know, but have every confidence in, because I know she will see me through the maze of self-doubt.  Her faith alone will see me through the crisis.





  1. In addition to all the truths you cited here about the writing process, Tessa, I think COVID has dropped an extra “confidence bomb” into the mix. Everything has felt so tenuous for so long now, that trusting anything is a challenge. I’m over a month out from my second vaccine, and yet I have a hard time removing my mask outdoors, even though scientists are saying it’s OK. I find I have to consciously talk myself down from the ledge on a daily basis as we slowly move toward something more normal again. Push yourself, yes, but be kind to yourself, too.

    1. It’s always so good to hear from you, Amy, and I totally agree, with you, COVID-19 has touched all our lives, some of us luckier than others. My next door neighbours had it. They were poorly, but not hospitalised, but one of my friends spent time in hospital on a ventilator and, although he is home now, he is still struggling. I am at the same stage as you, vaccine-wise and the only time I’m confident about taking my mask off is when walking Cassie the Blog Dog in the field, but I consider myself really lucky to be two jabs in. Take care and thank you for taking the time to comment.

Thank you very much for visiting my niche-less blog! If you have time before you leave, would love you to tell us what you think. All the best, Tessa Barrie

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